Well, you know how it goes.
If you don't, you're still not beyond redemption. You can still play Mass Effect and Mass Effect II.
And come to where I am, along with about 20 million others, waiting for Mass Effect III
You can join us in our daily ritual of praying to St. Casey of Hudson, High Priest of Bioware, patron saint of epic space operas, that he doesn't screw things up. And that he delivers what he and his team have delivered three times before, each time as good as the last - and given that the first was KOTOR, very good indeed.
You can join us in praying that the demons of Executive Meddling are kept at bay by the forces of artistic integrity, gameplay awesomeness and huge commercials from the first two games
And you can wait and wonder what happens next
Marriages and Baby Carriages
Does the soap opera continue in other ways? Does Tali die in labour when when Shepardetta Vas Talizorah's emergence damps her mother's nanosuit? Or does Femshep have Garrus's baby, making Kaiden Alenko wander off into the sunset singing "FemShep, is not my lover...but the lizard is not my son..." - which becomes a breakaway pop hit on Galactic Radio and a staple of Citadel elevators?
Do they travel through star systems looking for a cure for Thane?
Doleful: Eye of Rachni, Toe of Krogan,
Wool of Vorcha, Tongue of Turian,
Volus Fork and Thresher Maw Sting
Elcor Leg and Collector Wing
For dealing with Kepral's trouble
a swill to make Drell eyes bubble?From the Elcor adaptation of Macbeth, directed by Francis Kitt
Or does Sheploo have bouncing blue babies with Liara, blue biotic bullets that charge their way out of her singularity? Or is it Femshep who mated with our blue centurion and raised the question of two mommies - causing paroxysms of Fox outrage and more interviews with Cooper Lawrence? Or will there be options for Shepard to sleep with other species - a threesome with a hanar and an elcor? Will there be an email to Shepard asking him if he wonders what a Volus looks like under the suit? Or does Shep find Shiara's baby in the Normandy airlock? Does Shepard boink a Krogan?
Do Jack and Miri make a porno? Will Joker get to watch?
And will Joker consummate his simmering romance with EDI? Will she fabricate for him an exosuit that goes easy on his Vrolik's? Or will Joker borrow Shepards Heavy Bone Weaves to survive his boner?
Is Khalisah Bint Sinan al-Jilani a romantic interest in the third game? Is she into the “M” in S&M? Will you slap her, kick her or punch her on the face? Will you get tired of duplicitous asseverations in addition to her snide insinuations and disingenuous assertions?
Minor Questions
Does Shepard destroy the EArth? Or does he save it? Will there be an EArth left to save
Is Harbinger the biggest boss? Or are there others reaper than he? Are all Reaper names trisyllabic? Do we meet the Reapers Binswanger and Rumpswinger? Or, to use Crowshaw convention, Reaper Gobblecock
Are the gasbags of Eden Prime the secret weapon? Is Shepard an amnesiac Reaper?
Do the Reapers have a kill switch? Is Shepard really Scooby Doo in a mask? Are the Reapers Mortgage Bankers in Mecha Cthulhu costumes?
And Urdnot Wrex, Urdnot Wrex. He'll steal your woman, then he'll butt your head, Urdnot Wrex, Urdnot Wrex. I'll be searching all the joints in Tuchanka for Urdnot Wrex . Does the awesome Urdnot return?
Is Chorban's research good for anything? Do the Keepers mutiny? Does Executor Pallin see the Reapers from his office?
The Trial
Aaaah. The trial sequence. So who gives evidence? Who does Shep call? Samesh Bhatia?Random couple off street, recipients of parenting advice?Helena Blake, Mob boss and Missionary?The Kirosa Family? Father Kyle? Matriarch Aethytna? The consort? The Turian Councillor - "Ah. Genocide. We have dismissed that claim?" Dr. Chloe Michel? Conrad Verner? Does Harbinger bust in and deliver a scenery chewer in the courtroom? I know, Charn and the Blue Rose of Ilium appear on the stand, Charn denouncing the charges against Shep in verse. In e.e.cummings verse! And talking of poetry, does Ashley Williams move from Alfred Lord Tennyson to Allen "God" Ginsberg? Is Shepard's loquacity influenced by accumulated Paragon/Renegade pointage through the first two games? Does Morrigan - Aeryn Sun - Admiral Whatshername give evidence against Shep? Will there be vocal schizophrenia when the Rachni rep lands up as well?
Who prosecutes? Little TIMmy? "I bring additional evidence, m'lud - he blew up an entire space station full of Protheans. The last of the Protheans. If that is not genocide, I'll switch to Nicorettes".
Will Moridin be the Judge? Will he sing "The Punishment Fit The Crime"?
Resources
Right. We've gone through the galaxy on a pig with wheels, looking for heavy metals, light metals and rare earths. We've scanned and surveyed star systems and strip mined them to depletion for Iridium, Palladium, Platinum and Eezo. So what next? The Sol system is dead already. Even Uranus, a source of endless chemicals - is dead. Would Uranus sound better if we used the traditional spelling of Ouranus? Hmm. I guess not.
Finally
DOES SHEPARD LEARN TO DANCE?
Yes, I know. I'm a sad sad man...